Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
