the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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