ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
