Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
