help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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