If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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