I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
