You really coming over, don't trick.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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