If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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