maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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