just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
