im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
