best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
