I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
