My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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