I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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