you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
