dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
