I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
They took my balls.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
