Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
