You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
