sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize