Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
