Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
