Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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