Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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