I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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