I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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