that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
