OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
