I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
