a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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