What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
