They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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