its not stalking. its research.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
