cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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