Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
