so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
