I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
