oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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