Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
