His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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