waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Operation Purity has been aborted
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
