Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
