is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
my being single is dangerous.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
