i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
So here I am, sexting at work.
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