I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My penis needs a shock collar
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
