I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
whose parrot is this?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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