As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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