Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
