so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
