Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
