Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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