Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
