remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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