She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize