just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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