You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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