did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
