Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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