either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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