Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
