I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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