I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
